Archive for the 'Not So Funny' Category

6 Steps to rising early

Few weeks back I decided to finally become a morning person. My extensive experience at failing to wake up early coupled with some neat tips I stumbled onto on the web helped me achieve what I once only dreamed of. In here I make an attempt to summarize my lessons into a structured approach to rising early.

Step 0 : Sleep early

Retire to bed on schedule even if you are not sleepy. You can’t arm twist your body into waking up early if you do not give it enough sleep. I call this the 0th step, because all others are worthless without it.

This rule has another payoff; Since you already know that you do not have the luxury of waking up till late, you tend to focus on finishing up your tasks instead of stupid Facebook updates and senseless cat videos.

Step 1 : Moms are bad alarms

During my high school days, my mother used to wake me up for school somewhat like this: She would stand in the kitchen (busy preparing lunches for dad and us children), and yell my name, telling me that it’s 8 o’ clock and I should get my lazy bum out of the bed. This did not work, ever. Instead of doing her bidding, I would curl into a ball, shielding my ear with my pillow, more determined to stay in my bed. My dad, on the contrary, would walk up to my bed, sit by my side and just keep his warm hand on my forehead. This used to work like magic.  Continue reading ’6 Steps to rising early’

How to lose a friend in 10 days

Who is your best friend?
I don’t have one best friend. I have many best friends.

Ok, so, who ALL are you best friends?
Well,  Rahul, Vijay, Inder and.. umm.. Rajat and yaa.. Amit!!

What do you like about them?
They are the best.. they love me for what I am, they themselves don’t pretend, they care for me, fight for me, and umm.. every second spent with them is awesome-ly full of fun.. that’s about it!!

So, in case you were given the chance to room with anyone you could choose, will you pick them?
Of course!! It will be awesome.. we’ll have loads of fun.

I got bad news for you pal, you’ll lose them in 10 days.
What?

Yes!! Continue reading ‘How to lose a friend in 10 days’

The Search

Roughly ten years back, Doordarshan ran a series of selected Discovery Channel programs under the name Discovery Hour. The one hour show, instant pleasure for a nerd kid, was telecast everyday at noon during the summer vacations.
One of the episodes in the series was on Hinduism in the South-East Asia. The episode could also have been on Tourism or Architecture or some weird Satanic Science prevalent in that part of the world. It was such a long time ago and the memory is so faded, I hardly remember anything. But there was one part of the show that got etched in my mind permanently. The narrator spoke (in poorly dubbed Hindi) of a river which had numerous Shivlings carved all along its bed. Apparently some sages, who had too much devotion and too little work at their hands, thought it was cool to cover the river bed with thousands of sacred phalluses, the aniconic representation of Lord Shiva. Continue reading ‘The Search’

Reversibly

Technical jargon when used in day to day conversation leads to awesome pieces of insight. Also, sometimes just a single word reply can answer the most seemingly complex questions. What follows is an actual chat conversation that demonstrates my point. It has been colour coded for readability.

Anupam Ashish (Me).

Shishir Sharma (Anti-Me).

Translation (Few lines are in Hindi).

My inline commentary.

Continue reading ‘Reversibly’