As Lame As It Gets

If I were a superhero, stories about me would narrate how, against all the odds, I manage to sleep in a devastatingly cramped and noisy place to save the world time and again. Sleep-Man’s incredible feats of dozing-off would bring peace and security to the planet. You see, sleeping is one of my lame superpowers (Yes, I got more!). Time, place, ambience and my own condition are irrelevant when I decide to have a shuteye. Every time I wake up after an economy flight on a no-frill airline lands (the gold standard of discomfort), I see a strange mix of awe and hatred in the eyes of people sitting around me. My sleep is invincible; or so I thought, until, one night, the noise of paper tearing off woke me up.

Throughout the 4 years of my graduation, I curated a collage on the wall of my room. It was a collection of interesting pictures that I found in the newspapers. I used to stick A2 sized sheets to the wall and then use them as a base for sticking the cutouts. As the semesters passed and the collage got bigger, it got increasingly difficult to firstly, stop my dad from throwing me out of the house for ruining the wall, and secondly (and more importantly), keep my creation where it belonged. I was making a huge engineering mistake. I was sticking all the sheets together, making the collage one colossal, and heavy, sheet of paper. Gravity. That insensitive canine female. On a good day the collage would simply come off the wall. But, on a bad day it would come off partially and then get torn partway.

And that’s what happened on that fateful night. I was doing what I do best; Sleeping without the darndest worry of what’s happening around me. And all of a sudden, I am wide awake, standing next to the wall, holding the partially torn collage, stopping the cleavage halfway. I guess, sometimes we superheroes have to give in to our weaknesses, be a little selfish, and abandon the world we are sworn to protect to save the little personal worlds that we call ours. Yes, the Sleep-Man got woken up by the sound of a paper tearing off. It wasn’t just another paper though. You may slow-clap now. Quietly; I am sleeping!

By the way, this song, totally relevant!

4 thoughts on “As Lame As It Gets”

  1. Reading this, i was swept back in time imagining your room and the whole scene..
    Made me laugh a bit and made me imagine the SUPER LAZY you..
    I still remember the “Interia” theories postulated by Sir SU and Sir SHIR to not move your asses off.

  2. hmmm… bro, sleep n collage. what’s d connect? Am i missing something here?… but d best lines are about gravity and d cleavage one… gr8 to read something new from you

    1. Anchal, there’s no actual link. It’s just a silly piece. The only information I wanted to convey was
      a. I sleep like a corpse
      b. still, I got woken up by the sound of a paper tearing off, and
      c. probably because I was really passionate about it.

      Rest all is redundant data. Spun this mushy piece around just these 3 point. 😀 😀

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